Teddy Roosevelt Says “Bring On the Sausages!”

Given Teddy Roosevelt’s pitiful record in the Washington Nationals’ presidents race, he can hardly afford to be thinking ahead to the next series, but that’s what he did on Wednesday night at Nationals Park. At the start of our favorite 4th-inning ritual, a self-assured Abraham Lincoln once again spotted the other presidents a big lead, … Continue reading Teddy Roosevelt Says “Bring On the Sausages!”

So Much For That Theory

A day after Abe Lincoln was accused of using illegal substances to fly past his presidents race opponents and keep his winning streak going, our 16th president came out sluggish tonight and finished last behind Teddy Roosevelt. So much for that theory… Thomas Jefferson picked up his first victory since April, but Teddy still needs … Continue reading So Much For That Theory

Teddy Delivers Flowers Instead of Victory on Mother’s Day

On a rainy Mother’s Day afternoon, Teddy Roosevelt today completed another winless homestand at Nationals Park. As the Washington Nationals were engineering another heartbreaking loss to the improbably division-leading Florida Marlins, Teddy Roosevelt was taking matters into his own hands, jumping out to a huge lead in this afternoon’s presidents race. But regular observers of … Continue reading Teddy Delivers Flowers Instead of Victory on Mother’s Day