The Washington Nationals racing presidents continued their tribute to the Rio Olympics Tuesday night at Nationals Park, this time with an equestrian event that featured the ten-foot tall presidents jumping over obstacles while running with stick horses between their legs. The task proved to difficult for lanky Abe Lincoln, who fell down early, but Teddy …
The Nationals’ conspiracy against Teddy Roosevelt was on full display Sunday at Nationals Park, as Thomas Jefferson flaunted the rules to steal a race from our favorite president, yet avoided disqualification. Over the years, it’s been president #16 Abe Lincoln who has built up a reputation for cheating, but something got into Jefferson Sunday, as … Continue reading Video: Thomas Jefferson whacks George, Abe and Teddy, but is not disqualified. Bob Carpenter calls for an inquiry.
Anyone who doubted the Nationals’ conspiracy against Teddy Roosevelt need only have witnessed the travesty on display at Nationals Park Tuesday night. No, it wasn’t the Henry Rodriquez wild pitch, or the back-to-back bases-loaded strikeouts in the tenth, or the excuse for pitching the Mets trotted out in extra innings. It was the blatant double … Continue reading Abe cheats on tricycle. Screech fails to disqualify him.
In the final game of an undoubtedly difficult homestand for racing president Teddy Roosevelt, our 26th president decided it was time to leave nothing to doubt. Unfortunately for Teddy, he could have picked a more subtle way to cheat. When the presidents emerged in center field for the 4th-inning race, Teddy was out in front … Continue reading Teddy crosses first, is disqualified for riding a Segway
A day after revealing his displeasure that Teddy never wins, Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth clearly held hope that the Nationals had listened. As George, Tom, Abe, and Teddy began the presidents race Saturday afternoon, the Nationals’ 126 million dollar man moved to the top of the dugout steps in anticipation. Werth watched the race until … Continue reading Jayson Werth shows disgust as Nats fail to let Teddy win
With a rare late afternoon start and temperatures in the mid-90s for the final game of this week’s homestand, the last thing anybody at Nationals Park probably wanted to do was exert themselves by running a sprint around the full length of the warning track. So when Teddy Roosevelt saw nothing but green between himself … Continue reading Teddy blows it twice to close Nationals’ homestand
A huge crowd filled Nationals Park for this afternoon’s game between the Washington Nationals and Boston Red Sox. The year’s only exhibition game in DC was meant to be a final warm-up for the season that starts Monday. Nats fans were simply grateful that this one didn’t count. With Craig Stammen spotting Boston an early … Continue reading Nats lose. Teddy disqualified. Good thing this was an exhibition.
It was a beautiful night at Nationals Park, with a game time temperature of 73 degrees and a crowd of 17,153 on hand to watch a classic pitchers’ duel between the Nationals’ John Lannan and the Philadelphia Phillies’ Pedro Martinez. With the Nationals up 1-0 in the 4th inning and Lannan cruising through the World … Continue reading Teddy is disqualified for “Unauthorized Use of a Feline”
Perhaps Teddy was inspired by recent events. Perhaps, just 2 days after “honest” Abe Lincoln pushed and cheated his way to victory, avoiding disqualification while knocking down his opponents, Teddy Roosevelt concluded that the judges weren’t paying attention. Of course, he could have picked a more subtle way to cheat. On Sunday, before a crowd … Continue reading Teddy crosses first, is disqualified for riding motor scooter
With Garrett Mock on the mound against the San Diego Padres, the Washington Nationals and Teddy Roosevelt followed similar patterns tonight at Nationals Park, barely getting out of the gate before blowing any chance they had for victory. Teddy quickly locked up his 250th consecutive presidents race loss when he collided with Thomas Jefferson at … Continue reading Presidents go down quickly, Teddy notches loss #250