“Honest” Abe Lincoln returned to familiar territory Friday night at Nationals Park, disrupting and otherwise clean race with dirty tricks directed at the winless Teddy Roosevelt and William Howard Taft. Lincoln sat out the race, but emerged from the bullpen to put a body slam on Teddy and Bill to knock them out of contention. … Continue reading Video: Abe Lincoln brings back the dirty tricks, George wins photo finish
In just the fifth home game of the young season, George Washington claimed his fourth presidents race win Wednesday night at Nationals Park. After sharing a relay race victory Tuesday, he and fellow founding father Thomas Jefferson remain the only racing presidents to have tasted victory in 2013. Yet somehow, the Nats continue to credit … Continue reading Video: George wins again, but who is Abe paying off?
Presidents race observers have long suspected that race judge Screech was in the pocket of speedy rail splitter Abraham Lincoln. Sure enough, with few fans still awake to serve as witness, Screech slipped an extra “W” Lincoln’s way early Tuesday morning as the Nationals ran a bonus post-midnight presidents race in the 13th inning of … Continue reading Video: In extra 13th-inning race, Abe steals a W
Abraham Lincoln returned to form Sunday at Nationals Park — cheating form, that is. In a race more fitting for a roller derby, “Honest” Abe took out George Washington with an anabashed body check along the outfield wall, clearing a path to victory after Thomas Jefferson had taken out Teddy Roosevelt in similar fashion. As … Continue reading Video: Abe Lincoln shoves his way to presidents race victory
Just one day after Abe Lincoln blatantly stole a race while riding a tricycle, the Great Emancipator was at it again. On Wednesday night at Nationals Park, the presidents ran a 2-wheel relay, with George Washington and Thomas Jefferson running the first leg aboard Segway personal transporters, and Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt running the … Continue reading Video: Abe beats Teddy again, this time both on bikes
Anyone who doubted the Nationals’ conspiracy against Teddy Roosevelt need only have witnessed the travesty on display at Nationals Park Tuesday night. No, it wasn’t the Henry Rodriquez wild pitch, or the back-to-back bases-loaded strikeouts in the tenth, or the excuse for pitching the Mets trotted out in extra innings. It was the blatant double … Continue reading Abe cheats on tricycle. Screech fails to disqualify him.
The Nationals’ apparent decision to vary the location of the presidents race finish line in 2012 isn’t just confusing for the spectators at Nationals Park. Apparently Teddy Roosevelt is a bit out of sorts over it as well. After alternating the location for the first two games, the Nationals gave the reasonable impression that the … Continue reading Video: Change in presidents race direction confuses Teddy too. Abe cheats but gets the win.
A day after revealing his displeasure that Teddy never wins, Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth clearly held hope that the Nationals had listened. As George, Tom, Abe, and Teddy began the presidents race Saturday afternoon, the Nationals’ 126 million dollar man moved to the top of the dugout steps in anticipation. Werth watched the race until … Continue reading Jayson Werth shows disgust as Nats fail to let Teddy win