The pattern was hauntingly familiar during the fourth inning Saturday at Nationals Park.
The mid-inning presidents race started with the season’s only winless president tripping all the others out of the gate, then running unopposed toward the finish line. Just as P.A. Announcer Jerome Hruska proclaimed “Nothing’s going to stop him now!,” a costumed cow going by the moniker Beef Nachos Libre leaped from the stands to tackle the leader just short of the finish line. To add insult to injury, longtime nemesis Abe Lincoln was trailing close enough behind to scavenge the win and extend his lead in the season standings.
It’s a pattern that repeated itself seemingly hundreds of times between 2006 and 2012, as Teddy Roosevelt racked up 525 consecutive losses, one near miss at a time. When Teddy notched his first win on the final day of the 2012 regular season, it seemed the era of presidents race conspiracies was over.
Now, sixteen races into the 2015 home season, it was Thomas Jefferson who found himself winless, tried to take things into his own hands, and ended up running into the surprise buzz saw of the day.
Here’s hoping the Nationals haven’t decided to revisit their troubled presidents race pass by fixing every race for Thomas Jefferson to lose. If they thought Teddy had a strong movement behind him, wait till they mess with the Sage of Monticello.