Presidents go down quickly, Teddy notches loss #250

With Garrett Mock on the mound against the San Diego Padres, the Washington Nationals and Teddy Roosevelt followed similar patterns tonight at Nationals Park, barely getting out of the gate before blowing any chance they had for victory.

Teddy quickly locked up his 250th consecutive presidents race loss when he collided with Thomas Jefferson at the starting gate, leaving only George Washington to challenge Abe Lincoln. Abe took care of things from there, knocking George to the ground to clear his path to the finish line as Screech looked on.

Is “Judge Screech” in Abe Lincoln’s pocket? He’s disqualified Teddy for far less. Why hasn’t Screech ever disqualified “Honest” Abe?

Coach Ron SimmsNote: We were thrilled to see Section 128 usher Ron “Coach” Simms back in action tonight at his familiar post. Coach reports that under Doctor’s orders, he’s not allowed to dance on top of the dugout during “Sweet Caroline” for at least a few more weeks, but he’s looking great and on the mend. Welcome back Coach!

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