Presidents go down quickly, Teddy notches loss #250

With Garrett Mock on the mound against the San Diego Padres, the Washington Nationals and Teddy Roosevelt followed similar patterns tonight at Nationals Park, barely getting out of the gate before blowing any chance they had for victory.

Teddy quickly locked up his 250th consecutive presidents race loss when he collided with Thomas Jefferson at the starting gate, leaving only George Washington to challenge Abe Lincoln. Abe took care of things from there, knocking George to the ground to clear his path to the finish line as Screech looked on.

Is “Judge Screech” in Abe Lincoln’s pocket? He’s disqualified Teddy for far less. Why hasn’t Screech ever disqualified “Honest” Abe?

Coach Ron SimmsNote: We were thrilled to see Section 128 usher Ron “Coach” Simms back in action tonight at his familiar post. Coach reports that under Doctor’s orders, he’s not allowed to dance on top of the dugout during “Sweet Caroline” for at least a few more weeks, but he’s looking great and on the mend. Welcome back Coach!

Nats pitching delivers again, Teddy does not

The Washington Nationals starting pitching delivered another outstanding effort tonight as the Nationals road a superb outing by Craig Stammen to take the rubber match of the 3-game series vs. the New York Mets. Unfortunately, the effort appeared to offer little inspiration to racing president Teddy Roosevelt.

Abe Lincoln showed his colors tonight, breaking away but then stopping to taunt Teddy Roosevelt, who was running a distant second. Just when it seemed that Abe might let Teddy win, he turned to cross the finish line for his 22nd victory of the season.

CoachNationals Park regulars may notice something missing from the usual festivities this week. I hope you’ll join me in sending your best get well wishes to Ron “Coach” Simms, intrepid usher from section 127-128, known to most Nationals fans as the guy who dances on the dugout and leads the crowd during “Sweet Caroline.” “Coach” is recuperating from heart surgery. I’m told he is doing well and hopes to be back in the stands soon.

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