Abe Lincoln set out to make a point on Sunday at Nationals Park.
As the presidents were being announced for the 4th-inning presidents race, “Honest Abe” jumped out of the centerfield gate like a bat out of hell, staking a huge lead over the other presidents but heading straight for the stands along the first base line, where somebody was holding up a sign that read “Let Teddy Win.”
Abe grabbed the sign and held it up, then ripped it in half, reached into the stands, and produced another sign that read “Make Teddy Earn It!”
The Great Emancipator, who has been accused of cheating before, is obviously not a fan of the Let Teddy Win movement, instead wanting us to believe that he keeps winning all these races on his own.
But we know the truth. If Teddy Roosevelt were truly allowed to let loose, he’d lift this curse and put a serious whipping on his Mt. Rushmore counterparts that they’d never forget.